When you transition from marriage through divorce, there’s a whole lot of stress, upheaval and negative energy in your life and in your space.
Feng shui can support you through divorce in multiple ways, and at different times in your transition. Let’s take a look.
Feng Shui During the Divorce
While you are going through the painful process of splitting up, arguing and dividing households, there’s not much to do but put your head down and get through it. Trying to “feng shui” your way through the pain isn’t going to happen.
One exception, of course, has to do with the kids.
Prep the Kids for Change
Many parents who divorce inevitably move to smaller or different homes. Kids experience the upheaval of the relationship intimately. They also worry that their physical home life will change.
Kids may become inflexible and act out. Plan to give them time to adjust to the idea of change on the home front. If there’s a chance you will be moving in the future, give the kiddos long lead time to get used to the idea with a positive view on the move.
Get the kids adjusted to small changes by doing things like moving furniture. She will be much more adjusted to the BIG move if you start with small changes. Begin to build in resilience and adaptability.
Feng Shui (Soon) After Divorce
After the divorce is final you might want to immediately shake a few things up at home. Let’s start with a checklist of some low-level changes that can reshape the way you feel at home — without out too much emotional work.
Get on the with angry cleanout
Friends and family are more than happy to support you after the divorce with the so-called “angry cleanout.” Order pizza, buy the beer, and get it done. Down the road, you will be better prepared to address more intensive clutter clearing.
Buy new bedding
Replace the sheets, pillows, bedclothes and even the mattress to ensure you clear the energy where you sleep.
Take down artwork you chose together
Anytime you interact with artwork and images that remind you of your previous happiness and relationship, it can trigger stagnancy in your current progress. Take down and sell or donate artwork you collected together. Replace it with images that reflect your new life vision.
Fix all those deferred honey-dos
“I told him a million times about that broken handrail.” Now is the time treat yourself to the service of a pro handyperson who won’t hesitate to repair that handrail, and more. Make your list. Get a referral from a friend. Make the call.
After the Divorce Dust Has Settled
My divorce clients usually call me for a complete feng shui consultation several years after their divorce has ended. It’s then they have more emotional and mental space in their life for fresh changes. I like to start in the Love gua area.
Understanding Love and Marriage Area
Even if you aren’t married or in a relationship, that doesn’t mean the “Love and Marriage” area of the bagua can be ignored.
Every divorced person will be “ready for love” at a different time. But we can help enhance the other parts of the love gua, which includes supporting self-esteem, receptivity and openness to life.
This includes representations of pairs of items in the area, and removing “lonely” or images of single objects.
If you are preferring to stay single, no problem! We then enhance that area with representations that support your ideal life, feelings and desires.
Finding the Right Helpful People
You’ll notice the bottom right area of the bagua represents helpful people in your life. This area is crucial to a healthy divorce transition. Those helpful people aren’t just friends but the complete list of people who fulfill your needs now that you are physically and mentally ON YOUR OWN.
That list includes everyone from the right therapist and handyfolks like a trustworthy plumber and cleaner who will step in to complete those tasks your spouse did for you.
Joining Homes (and Other Post-Divorce Considerations)
Remember those sweet kids we mentioned earlier? Well, divorce doesn’t end for them once the papers are signed. With new, joined home things get even more complex.
Allow a child to keep a happy photo of herself with the “missing” parents nearby her bed.
Kids still have connection and relationship with your ex. This may be tough on a new stepparent or even on you, but this isn’t about you. This is about making your child’s space feel safe. Kids can use picture keep them feeling supported with dad or mom isn’t there.
Give More than a drawer.
Is your bedroom your style, his or YOURS?
If your new partner is moving into your space, be prepared to not only “make space” for their dresses in the closet but make room for them everywhere at home.
One spouse tends to have a strong idea for feel for decor. That can be a problem when that feel doesn’t match the other person’s energy need. If a new home isn’t possible, the person whose home it has to be willing to make changes. This includes allowing decor to change, furniture to be moved, and more, for the sake of the new relationship.
Divorce, like any transition is exhausting and life changing. Using practical feng shui for clearing and readdressing space physically helps to address mental drain and pave a smoother path beyond divorce to your next chapter.